Swinging from the Vine / 844 posts / 2,909 comments / feed / comments feed

5 Parenting Mistakes a Modern Father Makes

In our society, it’s considered that a person’s idea of how to create a family is based mostly on their parents’ experience. That’s not quite true. As practice shows, women whose fathers never played a significant role in their kids’ upbringing do everything they can to keep their family from falling apart, while man sabotages a relationship who rarely saw their dads tend to turn into wayward fathers themselves. Consciously, a man understands that he must participate in raising his child, but something deep inside his mind makes him run away from his family just as his father did, making his wife go through the same troubles his mother had to, putting the whole responsibility for the family on her shoulders. What a paradox!

Usually, in families where mothers had to bring up their sons alone, boys have a false understanding of what role a father should play. More precisely, they don’t understand at all why a family needs a father when the mom does a great job coping with difficulties on her own. In the end, it all comes down to one simple conclusion: all that a dad needs to do is provide for his family. As a result, we have generations of men brought up by women and completely unprepared to bear responsibility for their families and children. It’s a vicious circle where a man proudly tells everyone that he’s a father but has nothing to do with this role at the same time.

Here are the main mistakes modern fathers make.

1) They believe that being a father and providing for the family are the same things

Nope! After all, a woman who provides her kids with everything they need herself is not their father. By the way, a lot of men are jealous of their spouses’ career achievements because they’re afraid they might steal the only thing that makes men feel important from them. For such men, to stop being the breadwinner means to stop feeling like a family member.

2) They let moms do the upbringing

That’s another mistake. While this might work with a daughter, a woman can never invest everything necessary to ensure full personal development of her son. In particular, she’ll never be able to invest male qualities in her son simply because she doesn’t have them.

3) They think that conceiving a kid and becoming a father are the same things

No. Can we call a woman who had to terminate her pregnancy a mother? Typically, a mother is a person fully responsible for her child. So the fact that you have a kid somewhere doesn’t make you a father.

4) They replace the child’s emotional need in communication with money and gifts

The “I’m a good father – I buy everything my kid wants” logic will eventually lead you into a dead end. Soon, you’ll just become a walking wallet, and it’s your spouse who will be the one your child will share thoughts, concerns, and secrets with.

5) They believe that a boy should grow up a man at all costs

Tough punishments, high demands, and other similar aspects will break your child mentally. He’ll just crawl under his mom’s skirt as soon as such an opportunity presents itself. Developing male qualities is a long process.

No comments

Leave a comment